Dear Dad

Random thoughts...

My first thought when my mom told me "Daddy didn't make it" was that she needed to tell those EMT guys to get their butts back in there and try again because they were wrong. I wanted to hit a rewind button and have them do it again only with a different outcome this time. The thought makes me laugh now, because its kind of a ridiculous thought.

I don't know if I believe in God or not, but I do know that nothing in nature is ever really gone. Like that law "matter is neither created, nor destroyed" so you must be out there somewhere Dad.....It was never so obvious to me that the body is truly just a vessel as when I walked into the room at the funeral home and saw "my dad" lying there. It was so clearly not him at all, it was just his body. I've only ever seen two dead bodies in my life. The first I was not expecting, as it was Josh's Grand Dad, and I was totally not aware that it was going to be an open casket funeral. And the second was my dad.